garde manger (and pausing before I post)

It's important to me to be real and authentic in this blog.  I want to capture this experience of culinary school and my feelings as clearly as possible.  But I must also remember that this thing is living out in the world wide web, so grace and discretion are equally important.  Once I put something out there...it's out there and irrevocable.  That's a bit intimidating.  At the same time, I appreciate that the permanence of a blog makes me pause and think before I push "publish".  It's like my parents told me when I was younger, "think before you speak."  I spend a lot of time deciding what I want to capture in this blog for myself and what I want to share with others.

That's why I didn't post after last week's class.  I've been negotiating with myself all week on what to write and how to write it with grace and discretion.  I'm glad I paused.  I'm glad I took some time to let my feelings settle a bit before writing.  I don't mean to be alarming - basically, last week's class was disappointing.  The subject was Garde Manger (which basically means the cold part of the kitchen).  We focused on salads and sandwiches...not a tough subject matter.  But for various reasons, the class was a disappointment...I left class questioning everything...it was a tough week.

But thank goodness for new days.  I worked Sunday Brunch over the weekend and fell in love with the experience all over again.  As a CP2 student, I was given more responsibility during prep.  Instead of just prepping ingredients for other people to cook with, I was actually making things (red pepper coulis, yellow pepper coulis, salsa verde and confetti orzo).  I was able to offer assistance to the CP1 students - not really cooking help (I'm not there yet), but I could tell them where things were located.  It was a nice feeling not to be the new kid in the kitchen.  During brunch, I worked the omelet station solo.  We usually have two people on omelets, but we were extremely short staffed as this was the first brunch of the semester.

The Omelet Station Mise En Place

Last night's class was a continuation of Garde Manger, but this time we focused on hors d'oeuvre and canapés.  And for various reasons, last night's class was much better than last week's.  I learned a ton last night and that is what I expect from every class...the learning is what makes this crazy adventure worth the time, stress and sacrifice.  And I also believe the learning is what makes it fun.  Sometimes we will learn the most from our mistakes (I learned a ton from sauce class last semester and I was riddled with mistakes that night) and other times we will learn from our cooking successes.  Last night wasn't mistake-free, but we enjoyed lots of little successes (thanks to good instruction and awesome teamwork) and we had a blast!

Below are some photos of Table 3's creations:

Egg Salad Tea Sandwiches and Cucumber Tea Sandwiches

Deviled Ham Tea Sandwiches
 (yes, the ham salad sort of looks like cat food, but unfortunately, it's supposed to - bleh!).

Chorizo Puffs

Cocktail Corn Cakes with Spicy Mango Salsa

Table 3's Appetizer Creation: Mexican Chicken Wontons with a Lemon Cream Drizzle

the jitters are back

Culinary School has been out for winter break for the past 4 weeks, but tonight is my first day of my second semester.  My morning has been spent removing my nail polish that I immediately had done after my final, ironing my uniform, and sharpening my knives.  I've also been thinking a lot about how I'm feeling about starting school again.

I reread my post about my first day of school from last semester and was immediately reminded of the "first day at a new school-I don't know anyone-is anyone going to like me-what if I don't know the right answer-gosh, I hope the instructors aren't mean-sweaty palms" kind of jitters.  I am feeling nervous today...actually, the nerves showed up a few days ago.  But I'm happy to say that it is different this time.  I made some nice friends last semester and some of them will be in my class again, I've learned that it's okay to not always know the right answer (plus, no one really likes the person who always knows the right answer), the instructors aren't mean, and I will survive this semester just like I survived the last one.

But as I said, I am feeling nervous.  I know what's ahead of me.  I know what's expected of me.  I know that I will live way outside of my comfort zone until my final on April 17 (that's my birthday, by the way).  I know that I will make mistakes, but I'm comforted in knowing that I will learn from them.  All of this makes me nervous.

I've also started to think about what I want to do when culinary school is over...and my head really needs to shut-up about that.  I made a promise to myself when I started this adventure to focus on the experience and to simply push the pause button on "what happens next".  That's hard for me to do.  But, I believe it is essential to my well-being and to ensure that I get the most out of this experience.  The fact that this thought is creeping in is adding to the nervous thing.

Below is a photo of the bag I use for school.  I adore this bag for many reasons, most importantly, because it is from my amazing friend Leslie's Trust Life line of products (www.trustlifetoday.com) and 2) it reminds me to simply trust this adventure.  I am following my bliss and that's the best I can do for now.

So, once again, on this first day of school, I'm reminded to welcome these jitters because they are a part of this crazy, wonderful experience.